Hope Springs Eternal

Hope springs eternal in the human breast: Man never is, but always To be Blest.  Alexander Pope

 

 

             This is just one of those days to feel very sanguine. The sun is brilliant. The mood is right. Or perhaps all the Valentine's Day candy is still coursing through my blood. 

              No, I am  feeling enormously grateful and blessed. I know Valentine's Day everyday with my loving guy and my loving, lovely little girls. We have the normal ups and downs, but I know steadfast love. The flutter of hope springing eternal kicks in my belly, filling me with expectation and wonder.

            I am feeling energized. I had to go on a college campus for an article I am writing. For me, there is nothing more full of hope than the dreams of youth and seeing young people work towards their dream, believing without doubt that anything is possible. The group of international students I met today was nothing short of awe inspiring, so far away from home, pursuing their education and goals.

           I am feeling proud. Our oldest has become a reader. As she talks about our becoming an artist and an author, an then maybe still a horse trainer, she is growing up before our eyes.

            I am feeling joy. As I watch our oldest and our youngest in her full princess regalia  and wide eye innocence tonight, I am reminded of what a gift our children are.

           I think this is just my way of saying thank you right now.

 

              

 

 

"Going Batty or Otherwise Titled ,Blog Post Ideas that Literally Fly Before You"

            So there we were minding our own business, doing the Kelly bedtime routine. Prayers said, stories read, time to get into ....then like a bat out of hell there was a bat out of hell flying around our loft room. Can I say deja vu?
           We have had other bats before. In summer time, screen doors have been left open and bats have found their way in. I think we just had the global warming bat,  that thought it's summer or something, because the thermometer went over 30 degrees today for several hours.
            We have had other creatures before. Birds have flown into our house. We've had the odd chipmunk or two make its way inside. We have even had snakes. In trying to make our girls feel better, I told them how this is part of country living. I told  them about a chipmunk that visited us before they were born and how it bore a stunning resemblance to Alvin. But honestly I put this into the category of I liked old houses until we had one and.... Home improvement work sometimes goes there too.
          To some degree, it's just been that type of day. After the bat went to a better place and calm had been restored by the heroic Mama and Mr. Daddy,  I went to put tortilla chips away ( yes more tortilla chips for the pregnant lady). I found the package of fish, with the remaining semi thawed fillets, we had for dinner, in the cabinet instead of the freezer. Yes, batty has been the day.
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One Mama's Mathematics: The Things that Add and Subtract to Your Children And You

                      I guess I like to think in analogies. My husband is one of those engineering types, who sees things in black and white. I am constantly operating in the shades of gray, where I seem to most comfortably abide. It is with irony that this latest post idea came to me. For one it has a math theme and two, it kind of negates what I just said.
              Anyways, I've been thinking about how my days of motherhood have a ma thematic quality to them. There are the days I add to my children and myself.  These are the days when there is a positive feeling in the house. I have slept well; they have slept well.  -No fractions or fractured selves. It's not just a feeling or an attitude, it's a way of interacting with one another. We are a team.  Laughter and smiles abound, not the scowl I seem to have become quite skilled at on certain days.  Our house had cheek!
              There are the days that subtract from who I am and my children. Usually, sleep has been problematic for four or five days, with a sleep disparity and disturbance for me resembling an isosceles triangle. There is nothing equal in the household, whether it be my mood or the girls'. Actions and words take away from one another and diminish whole selves and house.
         There are the moments, the variables,that my children add throughout my days.There are the random I love you s and hugs from my little ones that are sprinkled through out a morning and a quiet afternoon.There are the little surprise crafts and pictures that are so wonderfully heartfelt and whimsical that multiply good moods and good cheer. There are my oldest girl's bright smiles, on a face that  can be too serious for her little years. There are my youngest girl's belly laughs that make you belly laugh with her. There is the way they play together and the way we all play together that makes any problem come out right.
       There are the days of mad math, where I can honestly say screw it to the chaos and disorder that can prevail with small children. I never liked math in the first place. Life, these beautiful little girls, can  not be fit neatly into an equation.
     Then there are days that I feel like I subtract, subtract, and subtract. Nothing comes out right. Nothing goes right. I get this really shitty image of myself sitting next to this large abacus, counting all the ways I have taken away from the girls at any given moment. I pray and wish for a magic formula that will make it all right.

     But then I remember life is not math or if it is, it's closer to mad math. Yeah, mad math....